About the Crow…

I am a thirty-x year old sociopath. I work and I have a home. I cook. I play with my dog. I don’t use power tools to get even with people. I got married last year. I’m just like you.

Mostly.

I don’t feel guilty when I hurt people. Just the same, I try not to do it.

Mostly.

I do possess my share of insecurities, but you’d never know it. Not being as smart or as strong as other people is certainly not one of them. I consciously choose not to harm or manipulate others because I have learned, through experience, where the boundaries of civilized society lie and that I have the best chance at happiness by residing, or at least appearing to reside within them.

Mostly.

I experience love…at least I think I do…and I feel like I successfully engage in relationships with others. Relationships are hard for everyone, it seems, and it’s no different for me. I do my best to relate to others around and especially those close to me. Sometimes I fail dismally. I don’t understand why we, as people, need each other, but I know that we do.

Mostly.

Deceit and and manipulation are tools with which I am proficient. These tools are, in fact, part of my primary programming. My brain, for reasons I’d like to understand, has evolved in a manner distinct from other people and my personality is that of a predator. A psychological predator, by nature, engages in deceit and manipulation. It takes, I think, the same level of conscious energy for me to be totally honest that it takes for a normal person to lie. I do my best not to lie and I feel like I’m successful.

Mostly.

The trouble with sociopathic personalities is that we tend to wear masks. We tend to adjust our behaviors and emotional expressions based upon what we perceive to be most appropriate to the situation. The behavior or expression is usually contrived or mimicked, an imitation that is often intended to elicit a specific response in another person. It’s an unhealthy and empty way of living. But it’s my reality. I deal with it by determining the appropriate behaviors to engage others fairly and honestly. Then I generalize that behavior into my every day life.

Like I said, mostly.

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Comments
  1. Tela says:

    Interesting

    Like

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  4. […] Murder Crow Eat Crow, a very interesting blog full of social analysis by a sociopath. […]

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